[core] Isolate selectors called without useGridSelector

[m4theushw]

A follow up on #3663

In #3663 we changed to isolate the selectors called with useGridSelector. In this PR I'm isolating all the remaining selectors, which include those called passing the state manually. For these, now we need to also pass the instance ID, from apiRef.current.instanceId. If not passed, there's a warning, but the grid works normally.

I also fixed the performance regression by using a Map instead of an object to cache the selectors. The instance cache is still an object because it will only be a problem if there's dozens of instances in the same page, which is a edge case.

[mui-bot]

These are the results for the performance tests:

Test case	Unit	Min	Max	Median	Mean	σ
Filter 100k rows	ms	227.3	515.5	430.8	375.3	123.617
Sort 100k rows	ms	376	948.6	802	755.56	198.752
Select 100k rows	ms	197	254.3	227.3	227.72	20.665
Deselect 100k rows	ms	109.6	286.4	176.9	183.22	62.47

Generated by 🚫 dangerJS against bcadfc8